On Friday, November 18, I went in to have my port removed. As much as the original idea of having a port gave me the heebie jeebies, I had gotten used to having a weird lumpy object protruding from my chest. Don't get me wrong though, I was certainly looking forward to finally being done with all things cancer related.
The procedure was very simple. The lady that scheduled my appointment assured me that I would not need anything more than local anesthesia and that I could return to work later in the afternoon as long as I wasn't doing anything too strenuous. When I informed her that I work at a gym, she began to get a little hesitant about allowing me to return to work, but then agreed on the stipulation that I couldn't do any heavy lifting or bending over to tie my shoe. Weird thing to stipulate, but I agreed in order to save using one of my precious vacation days.
After checking in, I was called back to the pre-operation area to change. Since this procedure was going to be so quick, they told me I only needed to undress from the waist up. It was a little weird being in a hospital gown and jeans, I must say. But I still got the perks of pre-operation as they brought me a blanket that had been in a warmer. Ohhh, it was nice. I think I need to invest in a blanket warmer. When it was time for my surgery, Dr. McDreamy, I mean, Dr. Isch came in to explain the procedure. He is the doctor that put my port in and is basically Hottie Mc-Hotterson. Shane, if you are reading this, please don't get mad. You know you think is a very attractive person too. And he is just so nice, it is hard not to want surgery every other week.
They wheeled me into a small room (i.e. a closet that they converted into a room for simple surgeries such as this) and got everything situated for the doctor to come in and do his thing. They numbed the area and from then on out it was exactly like you see on TV. The doctor said, "Scalpel." And as the surgical assistance passed the scalpel right over my face, she replied with, "Scalpel." It was bizarre to hear my skin ripping and tearing along with the juices slurping around, but feel no pain. And this was all happening just inches from my face. As they began to near completion, they asked if I would like to see it. Of course I would!! It wasn't too exciting as I had seen one before they put it in my body, but it was still kind of cool.
After he stitched me up, it was time to wheel me back out to the pre-operation area. As the surgical assistant opened the door and began pulling my bed through the doorway, I noticed he was having a bit of trouble keeping the door open. Since I was fully awake and functional, I thought I could help him out by simply reaching over and holding the door as he scooted my bed through. But as I did, he quickly and firmly said, "Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times." Once I began laughing, he said, "If you leave this place with anything other than your port removed, I am going to be in big trouble." Even though I was sure my immune system was stronger than door germs, I quietly obeyed and let the door hit my bed and practically knock me off as he wheeled me out.
But I made it out alive and after a few days of pain, I am back to my original B.C. (before cancer) state. Stay tuned for a belated Thanksgiving post.
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